The Household Guide to Dying - Debra Adelaide

Title: The Household Guide to Dying
Author: Debra Adelaide
Genre: Fiction
Pages: 386
Published: 2008

Delia Bennet, domestic advice columnist and author of the bestselling Household Guides series, is entering the final stages of terminal cancer. As a mother of two young girls, she is accustomed to being constantly occupied with a myriad of household tasks – all of which she performs to the highest standards – and death is no reason to diminish her workload. Determined to go down writing, she lays out the plans for The Household Guide to Dying: a book to guide the dying person (and their family) through all aspects of mortality, from purchasing a coffin to tying up any remaining loose ends. She soon realises, however, that before she can advise her readers on finding closure, she has some unfinished business from her own past to resolve.

I was quite amused when I saw the American cover for The Household Guide to Dying on the Internet. Debra Adelaide’s publishers, apparently out of fear that the title might put readers off, have added the cheery caption ‘A novel about life’ to counteract the macabre subject matter. The novel does, indeed, begin softly enough, as our narrator’s particular but gentle voice guides us through a visit to the family chickens. Adelaide, however, makes no attempt to hide the awful truth, which strikes without warning or euphemism, just as it did for Delia Bennet. While the writing may flow easily from page to page, with engaging personality and enjoyable wit, there are a number of quite confronting passages to remind us that death is by no means an easy subject. Like Delia, readers will have to accept that.

It is fortunate, then, that their guide to the ups and downs of dying is perfect for the task. Our picture of Delia does not form immediately, but Adelaide’s characterisation rings true throughout, creating a slightly obsessive, wry but still tender and very human narrator. As the quintessential Australian superwoman, she will have mothers across the country laughing and nodding in unison at her anecdotes of household chaos. These priceless passages are interspersed through chapters of reflection and storytelling, as three different time periods in Delia’s life run simultaneously, each contributing to the others and helping to balance life and death, humour and heartbreak. Then there are Delia’s written admonishments of hapless letter-writers, and the no-nonsense passages from her Household Guides, indicative perhaps of her meticulous personality, or perhaps of the professional façade she creates.

With its many narrative techniques, its control, its dignity and authenticity, Adelaide’s writing is a worthy addition to modern Australian literature. My sole criticism is for the lack of quotation marks, which hovers initially on the verge of pretentiousness, but is easily accommodated once the novel has gained some momentum. It is a thoroughly well-constructed look at a difficult subject, and one which never reduces itself to excessive or contrived sentimentality. Not too sickly, not too bleak – the balance, I think, is perfect.